| (no subject) |
[Apr. 30th, 2012|03:29 pm] |
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Oh! and look who was able to finally get "evanrude" as their livejournal name. Cuz that's important. |
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| Dream 12.24.2011 |
[Jan. 24th, 2011|10:43 am] |
Recently I have been going through a number of boxes full of old things and tossing a lot of items I no longer need in my life.
In this dream I was doing the same thing. I had found an old dictionary that I was putting things into. On one page I had somehow taped an old pager that had once belonged to my ex. Don't ask me how it fit in there. I recall I had put the pager in there so I would remember how they worked.
I examined the pager and found there batteries were still working. A faint message was still on the screen that read "Happy Valentine's day even though you never check your pager".
I was able to look inside the pager and explore its construction. Inside there was a wire frame that held a number of tiny rubber stamps with individual letters. A cylinder wen up the center of the frame and plucked out the letters it needed to compose messages. The letters were then rubbed against a phosphorus material and presses against the glass so the message would glow. It was all very steam punk-esque.
Oh, the gal that flew the chopper in Avatar was hanging out with me for some reason as well. No idea why. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 18th, 2010|01:12 am] |
I can pin-point the year, it was 1976. I about to turn 6. As a kid, that's what I always liked about being born in 1970, I could always match my age with the last numbers of the year.
Dad used to take me for rides on his bike. It was a brown ten speed. It had those curly handle bars. I'd sit on the bar between the seat and the handle bars. I must have been pretty small if I fit there. It was in the evening, just before the sun set so it was still pretty light out. We had made it up the street and around the corner. I know the exact spot where it happened. I know the exact house it happened in front of.
Dad was peddling. I was looking down at the passing cement beneath us. Looking back I don't know how he managed to keep me on that bike the way he did. I sat side saddle, kicking my right foot back and forth. I was looking down watching my shoes fly above the ground and then I was on top of my father laying at the side of the road.
My foot got snagged by the spokes of the tire and was yanked through the front fork of the bike. We fell and in some weird juggling act my father made it to the ground first and managed to catch me and keep me from hitting the cement below. He still doesn't know how he managed to catch me.
What's funny is I don't remember crying. I imagine I was screaming like my foot had been torn off but that's not a detail I recall today. I remember odd things like the house across from where we fell and that it was pained brown. I remember the woman who lived there running out to help us and offer to keep my fathers bike safe. I remember how quickly it had gotten dark.
My shoes were red and white. The right shoe now had a hole in it from being pulled through the spokes. My ankle had a matching hole. The skin on my ankle had been torn away leaving a large red patch of chewed up flesh. Bits of concrete and treads of my sock were torn up and mashed into the wound. I remember this because I was worried those bits would never come out of my skin.
At the hospital they washed my ankle in a yellow tub with soapy water and removed the torn cloth. I was still convinced this dirt was trapped in my wound. My ankle was bandaged and the memories become scattered after that. I know I would not walk on the foot. My foot was blue and yellow and puffy and I crawled around for weeks avoiding putting pressure on it.
I remember prompts to walk. My family said it would never get better if I didn't try. I didn't believe them. My sister suggested we paint the fire hydrant up the street. The city was celebrating the bicentennial by painting the hydrants as people. I looked up the street two houses down at the hydrant and new I'd never make it on my foot. The hydrant did eventually get painted as a mechanic is star spangled overalls but not by my sister and I.
It wasn't until around my birthday I finally walked. I am not sure what pushed me to do so but I have a feeling I was about to be left out of something if I didn't get moving. I'd heal and walk again. I held some grudges after that I guess. I didn't learn to ride a bike until much later in life. I wanted nothing to do with it. Dad's ten speed sat under a pine tree in the back yard for many years after that fall. It's torn up spokes reminded me of the ride around the block. Years later I'd walk past the brown house on the way to high school. I'd stare at the house wondering what happened to the woman inside.
This memory gets stirred up now and then. I'm not sure why tonight but there it is. I suddenly become very aware of my right ankle again and get a sick feeling there are still bits of blacktop and cloth inside my foot. It's these details that keep me from falling asleep at night. |
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| Dream 07.29.2010 |
[Jul. 29th, 2010|10:24 am] |
A handful of weird intense dreams this morning. I think the pain in my sprained ankle is keeping me slightly awake so I am having move vivid dreams.
The first was about being in a college again as a student and trying to find my way around the campus. It was some sort of art school and all the stairwells were filled with pottery. In my room there was a mirror that was able to look out into the hallway but no one could see back in.
That dream evolved into a story about a couple. I am not sure how but the male had been attacked, his throat was cut and he was bleeding. I was under the impression the female had cut him and they had to play it off as an accident. At some point she also got her throat cut quite deeply and was on the verge of dying. The were able to heal he cut with a chemical that resulted in the severing of the tip his tongue. The wound was healed but her throat was still open and fluid would leak out when she drank.
In another dream I was looking at German Shepard puppies. I began to imitate a howl and one by one they all joined in. |
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| Dream 05.05.2010 |
[May. 5th, 2010|10:01 am] |
So I had this dream I had moved into a giant high rise condo. It was one of those dreams that I was unable to wake from, and it felt pretty real. I woke up to go to work, got in my van and started driving. Along the way I realized something was not quite right. I was not responding to anything, I could not control the car or my own body. I realized I had been drugged. I thought it was best for me to turn around and drive home before I passed out. I drove with the windows open to help keep me awake. I turned on the stereo, talked to myself, anything to keep from passing out.
Once I arrived back at the high rise I waited at the elevators to go back to my room. A man walked by in a bathing suit and I realized we had a pool. Once the drugs wore off I would check out the swimming area.
My elevator arrived and I stepped in. The elevator didn't move, the building went up and down.
I could no longer remember what floor I lived on and had to look at the key for the number. The writing on the key was in another language. As luck would have it I did find my room and made it in to my bed.
There was plenty more. It was a stressful and awkward dream. I'm not going into the details here. |
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| Dream 03.08.2010 |
[Mar. 8th, 2010|05:09 am] |
I woke up at 4:30 am. This was the fifth time I woke up this evening/morning and I gave in.
I was having this dream about vintage toys. In this case I was dreaming about these dolls, kind of like replicas of the cast of Lost in Space. There were four of them, two males and two females, each in space suits and they had these functioning rocket packs. I had them in their boxes still and discovered I had duplicates. A few of them were broken and was trying to figure out which ones to give to my mothers boyfriend. When George was alive this would have been the type of toy he would have had an interest in or knowledge of.
I get frustrated when I have dreams like this. I feel like there is some information I am supposed to get from him but no longer can. I don't even know the question but begin to dwell on the images I have and get pretty agitated. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 23rd, 2010|02:02 am] |
I'm asleep and then wide awake. 10 minutes pass and it feels like I was asleep for hours. I wake up confused thinking it's morning. I swear I was even dreaming.
This is pretty regular.
I've been having headaches. I keep thinking I'm not drinking enough water. I worry it's the house. |
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| Dream 02.20.10 |
[Feb. 20th, 2010|10:09 am] |
I was in a car with Adam. It was late and I was navigating as he drove. We took a wrong turn and wound up on a dirt road rather than the expressway but we kept moving forward. We soon drove past a pile of roses in the middle of the road. I made a crack about someone not being happy with their Valentine's Day. Soon we drove past a large red box and some more flowers. Then we drove past a powered large screen TV laying on its side in the road. We had discovered a dumping ground of rejected gifts. As we drove more TVs and boxes turned up until the road was almost fully blocked. The red boxes became larger and the screens flicked messages about "25 years".
I kept trying to convince Adam to stop and grab a TV but he'd have nothing to do with the idea. |
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evanrude's journal
